It is not my first time living in this city, I came when I was 19 years old to study english staying in a family for 1 month, also I came again in 2005 when I decided to come for 3 months to work in a store and improve my english, but last time was different. However I have been traveling a lot in the last years, I had never been living in another city more than 3 months, for this reason after 10 months here, what for a moving person as me is a long period of time, makes me begin to consider myself a bit more Londoner and see and feel the city in a different way, I can say now that London is my adopted city. My idea was stay here for a year in order to achieve my goals of becoming bilingual and gain valuable experience in a fashion company in Uk, but time pass scar fully quickly in this fast placed place and now I am starting to wonder if it will be enough…
I can say that my staying here had passed 3 different stages :
Dic-Feb: it was an induction period, just landed from Peru and after my year traveling, start to live in a big city such as London it was shocking indeed. Also it was important in that time my strong feelings to Lucas, after living a deep love history and after saying bye bye to him in the airport of Rio de Janeiro when he flew to Sydney and we decided to kept the relationship in distance. I started to work in a store in the meantime that I was trying to find a job in a head office, my first goal in this city. It was a challenging period, working long hours in order to pay my rent in this expensive city, investing long hours applying online and being part of numerable demanding recruitment process with endless stages. It was not easy but in one month I got my first job in a head office in Uk what makes me feel so proud of myself. After just 2 months working in this company, I was doing what I wanted to do in that moment, achieving my goals, but I have to say that I was no happy, I was missing to much a person that was very far away. Surprisingly, one monday morning when no one expect it, the company went to administration. It was not a nice situation to see my colleagues and myself facing an unemployed situation, especially the ones that were on the company for more than 10 years, but in my case, I considered it as a signal, I took the opportunity to follow my heart and go to see the person that makes me happy. I know it sound crazy but I didn’t think too much about it and I flew from London to Sydney just for love.
April-August: When I came back from my visit to Lucas, I started a new stage. Of course, I still missed him but now in a different way cos I considered that I had show him what I am up to do for him, who I am, what I can offer and how much I love him, now it was his turn and if he loved me in the same way he would come for me. I was happy but I think it was cos inconsciently I believed that he would do, but that never happened. It took me 3 weeks to find a new job, even better that the first one, and I started again my routine in London. Eating healthy, training, studying english, writing, working in fashion, knowing new people and discovering the city, focus, motivated and happy. I became vegetarian after reading a book about that in my flight to London, since I landed I have no tried meat any more. When I realized that he was not going to come and our relationship was over despite of my feelings it was hard to accept it cos I didn’t understand anything. Then I went for holidays to Spain and I saw him.
September: It was after holidays when I really understand that he was not for me anymore, and thanks to this understanding I started a different stage in London, unattached of this strange but real and deep relationship. Again focus and motivated in my goals, even more than before knowing that is my last months in this city and I have to take the most.
This city gift me with a lot of experiences, new people and places but what I really feel grateful is about all the thinks that living in here had teach me. I have learnt to smile under the rain, cos it doesn’t matter the circumstances, it is all about how you want to see them. You choose how you want to live, complaining or embracing what life gives you. I had always though that living in a big , noisy and consumes city makes more difficult find and hear yourself, but since I am living here I have carried on knowing myself, going farther than when I was traveling. It is not about the place, it is more about the moment and how awake you are. It is about observing feelings, behaviors, trying to understand them, trying to improve, do a better version of myself, focus on my goals and pushing myself for an extra mile.
I can’t say a bad word about my adoptive city, I know I am not objective but this city always treat me good, making me feel as at home. Of course, there are things that I don’t like, the massive consumerism, the crowded places where you can even walk, the weather, the prices and the distance with the sea, but they don’t make me love London less, cos it offers me other things that make the balance.